How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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