check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
