You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
