In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
