You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
