I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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