I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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