She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
