Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What drink are we having for lunch?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
