ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
