How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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