My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
