Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
