I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
