Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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