Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
