Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
