I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
