I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
