Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Terrible idea I love it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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