I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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