Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
