It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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