Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
