Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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