Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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