the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
