i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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