i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
