This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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