he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
