Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
worst night to have a conscience
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
