I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
