yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
