she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
