Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
