your parents love me but you hate me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
