Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
