brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
