How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
