You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
