Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
