He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
