I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
