you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
