put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Its about making memories worth repressing
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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