Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
