I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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