we made out on top of his cat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
