guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
